How to Deal with Loneliness as a Mom

My second installment in the monthly motherhood series with my dear friends: Emily,

Kelly, Shaheen and Blair.

Motherhood is a tribe, it’s universal. We all share an unspoken understanding of one another. You know, the one where your baby is literally losing it in the middle aisle of Target, and you desperately need that gallon of milk (to make yourself yet another bowl of cereal  that you’ll scarf down for dinner). I think to myself, ‘Yup, I’m officially that mom with the screaming baby’ — I start getting anxious, and overwhelmed. People are staring, judging (I’m sweating, ha) but, I have to get that milk. I’m swinging the carseat back and fourth, trying anything and everything to calm her down. I start to tear up. But then, I catch eyes with a member of my tribe & they lend a soft smile. They get it. The others, not so much.

Motherhood, at times, can feel so incredibly isolating. Those first few months of constant feedings around the clock, they’ll get to you. You know, where your husband is sound asleep snoring next to you, and the damn dog is cozied up under the covers. (you guys, mama life is being jealous of your dog at times, haha! Can anyone else relate to this statement?) It’s funny isn’t it? — how millions around the world are awake, but you somehow feel like the only person in the world. Those nights are long. Those nights can be incredibly lonely.

I start to tear up. But then, I catch eyes with a member of my tribe & they lend a soft smile. They get it. 

Don’t forget about the highlight reel — aka: Facebook. Does anyone else feel like jumping through their screens at times? Ugh, to be somewhere tropical. Hell, to go to the movies. I haven’t seen a movie in months. There are days where I don’t even leave my house. DAYS. I’m in the same sweatshirt, same sweatpants, my hair is in a top-knot (hasn’t been washed in days).  I think to myself, ‘how do these mama bloggers do it?’ Look so put together and perfect? Then I look at my own feed. I’m guilty of this, too. Only sharing the highs.

Motherhood can be lonely/isolating, but it doesn’t stay that way forever, you don’t have to deal with loneliness forever. All this loneliness is temporary. I’m already wishing those first few months back. Harlow’s giggle, you guys. It will melt you to the core. Motherhood is magical AF. Literally an island full of unicorns. I fricken love it. Every single day brings a wave of new. Remember this: We haven’t forgotten about you. We’re all in this together. You’re in the thick of something wonderful (realize it or not).

3 ways to cure loneliness is a mama

1. Play Groups: Ugh, I never thought I’d be this mom. I got invited to one the other week, and get this: The host made Chrissy Teigen’s french toast casserole with mimosas. 11am on a Tuesday. This is something I can get behind! But, in all honesty — I have met some wonderful people in my area. Try joining your local motherhood Facebook page. Go to a Gymboree class (where I met my new friends!) and attend free events in the area. The library is another great resource! This really helped my loneliness.
2. Take time for you: You know one thing I do every single night? I soak in the bathtub for an hour. Just me, myself and I. I put on tranquil music (usually Enya) and zone out. It was really important to me that I’d keep my identity outside mama. Don’t get me wrong, that’s my favorite name — but, drinks with the girlfriends are totally necessary now and then. It’s healthy to treat yourself, so make an effort to do it more.
3. Make time for your SO: This is a blog post for another day, but I’ll be honest: my marriage has taken a backseat post Harlow. There are nights we are on the same couch, but we literally feel miles apart. It makes me sad, but we’re both so drained. It’s hard to retain energy at the end of the night. This is a work in process. I’m learning that date nights without Harlow are essential for our relationship. Where we can actually hold a conversation longer than a few minutes, ha. Can anyone else relate?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic! What helped you cure those lonely days/nights? Don’t forget to check-out Kelly, Emily, Blair & Shaheen’s post! Be sure to check out more motherhood posts before you go!