‘Comparison is the death of joy’ – Mark Twain
I’ll be honest, I am not an expert on this subject — In fact, I’m far from it. I think we all struggle with comparison at one time or another. It’s the most common, and destructive daily habit we possess. We compare our jobs, cars, clothes, relationships, homes — the list goes on, and on, and on. As bloggers: We compare our Instagram followers, Facebook fans, blog comments, event-invites — again, the list goes on, and on. It’s so easy to compare our beginning to someone else’s middle. It’s also easier to focus on someone else, instead of your own path. Personally, this was a wake up call to me. I remember scrolling through my Instagram feed, and feeling so discouraged, and left-out, that I actually gave up. I gave up, you guys. Sure, I’m over-reacting — but we all deal with comparison in different ways. In order to fix the problem, we have to recognize it. I think that’s the first step to getting over this hump! Today, I’m sharing some tips that have helped me move past this. Remember to be patient with yourself, this transformation doesn’t occur overnight. Small steps, dolls.
- Didn’t receive an event-invite to that awesome blogger party? So what.
- Don’t have 20,000 Instagram followers? So what.
- Not making much money off your blog? So what.
- Not receiving support from fellow-peers? So what.
Just a little reminder — These are the small details. You don’t need anyone else but yourself to get ahead. Yes, the other things do make your journey easier, but it’s a lot more satisfying when you reach the top on your own. Just saying! XX
1. Focus on what you have: When you start feeling gratitude for the things you have, you start to shift your focus. When you focus on the positive areas of your life, you’ll start noticing the good in yourself!
2. Write it down: Now, take step number one — and start writing those things down. Keep a gratitude journal handy for those tough days. Gratitude journals are a great way to remind ourselves of what we have. Tip: Go in depth: Don’t just make a quick bullet list (although, those can be helpful, too) but dig even deeper than that. Explain why these things make you happy/proud. It can be your favorite memories, or your recent accomplishments. What makes you stand out from the crowd? You’ve got something special, we all do.
3. Improve your abilities: What areas are you struggling with? Improve them! There are dozens of workshops, classes and conferences that could surely boost some confidence! It’ll be hard to focus on everyone else, when you’re learning some new tricks!
4. Have goals: Goals are important, they help us stay accountable and on task. If you’re not setting goals (challenging goals, at that) you’re not going to have a clear path of attack. Writing down goals will help clear your mind, and focus on an end-result. Usually, when I’m comparing myself to others, I don’t have a plan. Limit those distractions, and keep that mind movin’!
5. Compete with you: The only person you’re allowed to compare yourself with, is yourself. You got that? Aim to be a better you every single day. When you do this — you’ll start noticing that self-esteem climb because you’re hitting higher and higher goals! This is something my boyfriend, Kevin, instills in me. (I’ve still got a long way to go though!)
Make sure to stop by every Monday — I love starting each week with something positive, and encouraging to get us pumped! ICYMI: 29 truths on my 29th birthday, how to turn around a bad day in under 20 minutes & 5 ways to love yourself.